North America / USA /  New York

Most of us don’t do much talking while we dance, we only enjoy it! But, social dancing does require at least some verbal communication. Below, I give you some things that you never must say and avoid to do to your dance partners.

“This is how you do…”

Except for very limited circumstances (at least that your partner want it), stopping a dance to explain a concept to your partner is inappropriate. Even if you are a teacher who knows what you’re saying is true, it’s still almost always inappropriate. Avoid floor teaching wherever possible, please.

“Oh baby… you’re so sexy in my arms”

Between close friends you can do it as a joke only. Even then, it’s borderline and usually earns him a glare. There may be an exception to the creepiness if it’s someone you are intimate with. But, even then, the middle of a dance is generally not the time or place for verbal sexual overtures. If your partner isn’t feeling the love, it’s a sure way to create the most awkward dance experience ever.

“It’s OK. I got you.”

This one specifically applies to when someone is trying to make their partner do something they’re uncomfortable with. For example, head movements, dips, drops, or lifts. If you have to say “It’s OK. I got you,” it means either your partner doesn’t feel like you’ve got them, or that they don’t want to do the thing. So, don’t do that thing.

“Come on, get closer.”

If a partner doesn’t want to get close, you don’t make them get close. That´s all! If you really can’t stand dancing a bit further apart, the solution is simple: don’t dance with them again. But, your happy place should not be at the expense of your partner’s comfort.

“Why won’t you dance with me?”

If someone rejects you for a dance, please don’t ask why. Potential partners are allowed to reject a dance, and it makes things more awkward if they’re forced to give a reason. Or, it may result in them giving you a ‘pity dance’ because they feel guilty. Sometimes people legitimately don’t really have a reason other than “I’m tired,” “I’m not feeling the song,” etc. So, trying to mine for ‘extra data’ on why they’re not dancing with you is futile.

“Sorry for the bad dance.”

This one is usually born out of insecurity. If you’ve actually hurt someone or made a big mistake, apologize and move on. For example, crashing into another couple, twisting, grabbing, or other in-dance mistakes can reasonably be accompanied by a “sorry”. But, ending the dance with “sorry” undermines the experience you’ve had with the other person. Compliments are generally nicer to receive than apologies.

“You’re so much better than me.”

This is similar to the “I’m sorry” at an end of the dance. Definitively, you must avoid say that, please. If you’re dancing with someone, it really doesn’t matter who the stronger dancer is. It’s a shared experience for both of you. But, if you compare yourself to your partner, it can create a sense of awkwardness. Instead, try a full compliment. Maybe say “I’ve been looking forward to dancing with you” or “I really admire your dancing”.

If you’re worried about your own dancing, you can also say things like “I’m a beginner,” “I’m injured,” or “I’m really rusty” to take the pressure off without putting your partner in an awkward position. These are few things you must have in consideration to get a good connection with your partner on the dance floor and sure you will look as a perfect social dancer!